


hold me- hold him, too

by kingofthelosers



Series: in trousers themed [2]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: This Is Sad, i wrote this in about 5 minutes, or the nausea before the game/love me for what I am, or your lips and me, won't entirely make sense unless you've listened to breakfast over sugar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 20:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21326479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingofthelosers/pseuds/kingofthelosers
Summary: three words can take trina back to a time she wishes she could forget.
Series: in trousers themed [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1537447
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	hold me- hold him, too

**Author's Note:**

> yeah you really should listen to those three in trousers songs before reading this. if you have, great job! i Know this is short but i had to post it.

Marvin and Trina seldom saw each other when others weren't around. Whizzer came with Marvin, Mendel came with Trina. It went without saying. But today, they found themselves alone.

It was cheery enough, the two knowing each other so well they were able to sit in comfort. Trina had made tea and sandwiches, Marvin had teased, “ _ what are we, fancy Victorian women?” _

They were laughing, discussing Jason’s school progress and bitching about their respective partners until Marvin muttered,

“The sugar, please.”

Trina halted in her chair, the arm she had reached out to fetch said sugar staying completely still until she retracted it, slowly,  _ slowly. _

Both were silent, unaware of what to say. She smiled politely, her arm going back again to quickly grab the sugar and fling it in Marvin’s general direction.

She hadn't heard those words in a long time. There was never really an occasion for them to rise, and even if there was, the person would say “Could you pass me the sugar?” or, “Sugar, can I have it?”

But, by sheer force of habit, Marvin had said them.

She wondered if he said them to Whizzer when they drank tea or coffee. She wondered if he heard them, blissfully unaware of the connotations that haunted her when she was alone, or Jason acted particularly Marvin-like.

Marvin looked up, eyes wide. Ah, the numbskull finally got with the program.

“I'm- I'm sorry, I-”

Trina forced a tight smile. “Forget it, Marvin. It's in the past, right?”

It wasn't in the past.

Well, not all of it. She loved Mendel. Hell, she’d even go as far to say she  _ adored  _ Mendel. With every fibre of her being.

But she had loved Marvin. She had loved Marvin furiously, passionately. He was her first love and  _ fuck,  _ the  _ father of her child!  _ They would forever be connected because of that.

Trina can't see parakeets in the pet store anymore. Trina can't see blue carnations anymore.

Trina can't hear those three  _ stupid  _ fucking  _ meaningless words _ anymore _ . _

It's a strange thing, being cheated on. People will tell you that it’s not your problem, it's their's- but that isn't always the case. She didn't have a penis, that’s her problem, not his. 

She tried to convince herself it hurt more when she thought he was sleeping with women- because she was one too and Jesus, what did they have but she didn't? She'd tell herself that at least when he liked men, he’d love her if she were one too. 

But that wasn't true. It hurt either way.

“Trina, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.”

She wiped away at the tear rolling down her cheek. “Do you think you would’ve stayed? If you were, y’know. Straight?”

“That’d never happen, Trin.”

Trina nodded, nodded, nodded until the tears increased and her face grew crumpled. Marvin hurried around to her side of the table, holding her.

“I love you, you know that?”

“No, you don’t.” She replied, barely above a whisper.

“Yes, I do,” he insisted. “Maybe not romantically, but I do. And I did. And I'm sorry for how I treated you, and I'm sorry for cheating on you.”

Trina scoffed through her tears. “Yeah, whatever. I don't think you realise how much you put me through, Marvin.”

Marvin worried his lip with his teeth and he sat on the chair next to Trina at the table, hand on her arm.

“Do you remember when we’d stay up until four in the morning talking, just enjoying each other's company?”

She glared at him. “Only because you didn't wanna screw, so you distracted me.”

He sighed, inhaling deeply. “Remember when we bought that swing set and tried to assemble it?”

Trina did chuckle at that, memories of baby Jason swinging back and forth, wailing his eyes out and Marvin, doing an impression of a monkey came flooding back.

Marvin stroked her hair. “I know you’ll never forgive me. I’ll never forgive me either. But I love you. That won't ever stop.”

She watched him, attempting to stay stone-faced. Instead, she melted into his arms, sobbing. 

“Your tea’s gone cold.” She whispered, voice barely audible.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i really hope you enjoyed! feedback, kudos and comments appreciated xxx


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